genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
