saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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