put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Rumble strips road head = magical
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
