I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
