i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.