ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen