i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve