I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
