I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
