You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
