You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I believe in your delicious
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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