I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
ttyl tear gas
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
