but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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