So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
