he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize