you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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