my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize