Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
