just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
