eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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