I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
