She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
