I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize