bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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