I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
