She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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