He uses pillows to masturbate.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
