Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
