I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
