i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
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My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
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I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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