U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
