People with herpes should wear stickers.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
