HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
