he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize
