and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
