I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
