Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
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I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
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Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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