well I can't set my house on fire every night
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
