Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
