i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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