I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Randomize
