remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Just high enough for therapy.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
sex in a hospital.. check
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
