my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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