I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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