he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
