Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
