wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
