It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
