I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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