I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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