Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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