Me. At least after what I've been through.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
