dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
