im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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