dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
