okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
