I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
