I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
