guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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