Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
