So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
But theres a keg here and me gusta
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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